Planking: It’s time to move on

Guys. We get it. Planking is the protest action du jour, especially after Quezon City Representative Winston Castelo proposed a controversial and draconian law to penalize planking on the streets during protest rallies.

As predicted, though, Filipinos took an Internet meme, hyped it up, then beat that dead horse until it could not possibly get any more dead without turning into a zombie metaphorical horse that is then shot in the head.

Sometimes, as with this group of fisher folk protesting the creation of the Aurora Pacific Economic Zone (APECO), Filipinos tend to take things overboard.

Did you see what we did there? Overboard? Eh? Eh? (bulatlat.com)

I hate to be a spoilsport, two dudes in the water, but planking in the sea is called floating. Possibly, snorkeling. That doesn’t even follow the concept of the meme, strictly speaking.  Planking is supposed to be done in places where people are not likely to be lying face down and stiff as a board. What those guys are doing is called sunbathing in most places.

Not to belittle the gripes of Aurora residents against APECO or anything. Those guys have legitimate complaints. They say construction of APECO has destroyed mangroves where the fish they catch live, and has caused flooding in the area. Using a tired old Internet meme to get those issues across trivializes the whole thing, though.

Is the DPWH now a meme?

DPWH official photo

After Typhoon Pedring kicked Manila’s ass earlier this week, the Department of Public Works and Highways was quick to get out in the field and check damage to the sea wall along Roxas Boulevard. They were also apparently quick to fire up their Photoshop for a sloppily-done PR photo showing their officials at the site.

We cannot blame them, however. These are modern times, and sometimes pictures need to be touched up a little. The photo was, after all, supposed to show DPWH officials at work. One of them apparently did not get the memo and let his girlfriend tag along for a romantic date along Manila Bay.

Clearly, there was a breach of protocol

The DPWH was quick to pull down the picture once the public got wind of the attempt to cover up the affair, however, and the DPWH official has since broken things off with his girlfriend. The decision came after an emergency meeting at a DPWH secret base built during Martial Law, when then President Ferdinand Marcos feared a Chinese Communist takeover of the Philippines.

The DPWH base, since removed from all maps, was meant as a remote nerve center for the government should Malacanang ever fall. A source at the DPWH sent us this leaked photo of the meeting:

Also in picture: Ferdinand Marcos Clone 7562-A5

Indolent reader Abner sends us this dispatch from the frontlines:

War...War never changes...

Felicity Merriman gives our Public Works officials an unintentionally creepy vibe

Stranger danger!

[UPDATE: My God. I wish I could photoshop myself back in time. We saw the pic and had a photoshopped image ready a day before that other dude blogged about it. Ah, well. Nothing ventured, nothing at all. ]

 

 

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Also, a fun exploitable photo for Indolent readers!

Come on! Vamanos, everybody! Let's go

Where will our Public Works officials turn up next? Send us your shopped pics at indolentry at indolentindio dot com or onetamad at indolentindio dot com!

(Thx, M and the Indolent Photoshop Department!)

Congress: Serious Business

This is why we can’t have nice things like a law authorizing the government to talk to women about contraception and reproductive rights.

Says Kabataan Rep. Mong Palatino: "It's an empty house, and it's only 6pm"

 

No wonder reporters on the House beat have resorted to intrigues and infighting. This place is so dead two hours after the session is supposed to start, they cannot be blamed for looking for more interesting things to think about, like what that guy meant when he posted that thing on Facebook, or how many congressmen to offer PR services to while still serving as a reporter on a daily broadsheet. I mean, it’s not like there’s much else to do.

Most days, congressmen just come in for the roll call (if they bother to come at all) and then retire to the House lounge to gather their strength after the extreme effort of appearing at the House. Those that stay behind listen to debates, chatter among themselves, or play Angry Birds.

(Thx, Twitter account of Kabataan Rep. Mong Palatino!)

PNP training, possibly

I’ll just leave this here:

A picture of two Philippine policemen playing DOTA.

To Serve And Protect...The Ancients

(Thx, Timawa.Net forums!)

Art Attack (on our national pride)

Click to see in all its glory

M says “This crudely drawn comic strip is more nuanced than it has any right to be.”

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(thx, /b/ [pinoychan chapter, of course!])

Gramps Keeps it Gangsta

Remember that grade school retort “wala yan sa lolo ko? (roughly: my grandfather is even more badass than that)” that nobody ever really used except ironically?

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When online electioneering goes too far

With the billions that he’s putting into his presidential campaign, Senator Manuel Bamba Villar Jr. might as well buy the entire Internet. He’s on Google AdSense, he’s on Twitter, he’s even on facebook, suggesting that you become his fan or friend or both.

He’s everywhere now, and he might just take it a little too far.

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The State of RP Agriculture

There are four things wrong with this image from the Department of Agriculture:

1. Nobody uses 2-liner analog cellphones any more.

2. Rotary phones no longer work.

3. There is no excuse for using animated .gifs any more.

4. That doesn’t even make sense.

Somewhere, a vengeful hog is plotting the destruction of our very way of life.