You’re cool. You’re the face of ’90s rock.

You made up things like Tahong Chips Ahoy and turned the silly randomness of youth into the culture of a generation. You changed your name to Jesus “Dizzy” Ventura because you’re like our Michael Jackson. Nothing’s too weird for you, and that’s cool.

You totally deserve to be NU107’s Rock Boss (whatever that is) for May because, dude, you are so boss.

But Jesus Christ, did you have to come to that radio spot they keep playing pretty much every fucking hour stoned or lazy or both?

When Karl Roy of POT said in 1999 that his inspiration for his songs was “I take a lot of drugs,” I thought that was pretty cool. Because it was 1999 and we were all young and stupid and taking a lot of drugs.

When you tell us now that you get your new material from the “new material section beside the produce section at Shopwise department store,” it isn’t cool anymore. Not because the answer wasn’t witty. It was (in 1999).

But you delivered it in such a bored fashion that it went from laid back I say random things to just plain I don’t give a fuck.

And, dude, you’re a rock icon. You sort of owe it to the kids with dreams of being in a band to give better advice than just, you know, “listen to classic music.”

If Lourd de Veyra could go from singing about pigs and Astro cigarettes to making nation building hip, you can probably do better than telling the kids that music,” rock music for that matter,” started long before they were born.

In the intro to that radio spot, you ask mock philosophically “Why should I tell you who Ely Buendia is when I’m him?” On hindsight, maybe you really shouldn’t have.

(thx, mouse! no thx, ely!)