Capiz Official Seal of Quality

Capiz Province, erstwhile Aswang Capital of the Philippines, recently took offense at Malacanang for shrugging off Sen. Manuel Roxas II’s garlic-garland gimmick as nothing more than such, and for calling him “Boy Bawang” after a popular garlic-flavored corn snack.

Capiz, it turns out, is also the capital of what debate coaches and high school English teachers fear most: logical fallacies.

One former Capiz official took offense at the “Boy Bawang” moniker. He said that it was “uncalled for and cruel.”

“I hope we can be more civilized and be proud to be Filipinos,”he said, apropos of nothing.

Enrique Martin, a current member of the Sanggunian Panlalawigan (Regional Council) said that Malacanang was merely “sour-graping” because Roxas has won over his home province to his “advocacy, vision and goal.”

SP member Esteban Evan Contreras added that the administration is now worried that Roxas can take over the presidency, and so is resorting to name-calling.

Never mind that Roxas was voted into the Senate on a persona just as cheesy: Mr. Palengke (Mister Wet/Dry Market,) and that a catchy nickname can more often than not help a candidate. (cf. “Say Chiz” Escudero, “Mr. Expose” Maceda, “Magdalo” Trillanes, “Jamby Ja-ja-ja-jamby” Madrigal.)

Capiz provincial administrator Zoe Herrera Jr. was also offended by the name-calling, but offered a more sensible opinion: that the focus should be on the passage of House Resolution 1109, or the Con-Asswang resolution, and not on Roxas’ antics on the Senate floor.

After which, presumably, he was banished from the province for being a smarty pants.

Capiz Fun Fact: Drama king and Fertilizer Fund Scam mastermind Jocelyn “Joc-Joc” Bolante is planning to run for governor of Capiz, and has been reportedly getting a lot of support from local leaders.

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