Films that have ruined my life with their lies

Jesuits are known for two things: running schools and mind tricks that will blow your mind. (Well, alright, also the Inquisition.)

For example, instead of boring shit like memorizing the periodic table, we were made to watch films and discuss what they meant. And they meant pretty much just one thing: God wants you to be good, but how you live your life is ultimately up to you.

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this.

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this.

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Biogesic for Kids: Elixir of Everything

We at Indolent Indio try our best to respond to your comments because we care about you. It somehow makes us feel that we help make the cold and impersonal wasteland that is the Internet a little less so.

So, when Indolent reader Kathrina left a comment praising Biogesic for Kids, we felt that it was our duty to share how this wonder drug has changed our lives for the better. If we save just one child from fever by spreading the word, then our lives will have been well spent.

After all, that’s what the Internet should be about: helping people.

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What about you, dear reader? Share with us how Biogesic for Kids made your life better.

Paracetamol and Fragments of the True Cross is the Generic Name of Biogesic for Kids

Paracetamol and Fragments of the True Cross is the Generic Name of Biogesic for Kids

Childhood remedies against A(H1N1)

Predictably, the Philippines has jumped on the A(H1N1) bandwagon with our own case zero, a 10-year-old balikbayan.

With most of our government’s anti-flu medicine either expired or close to their expiration dates, we will have to make do with cure-alls or school infirmaries have been using for years.

Alternatively, we could usher in what Indolent reader Paolo M. sees as the cure for Philippine poverty: zombies. Either way, really.

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Hayden Cam updates

Hayden Cam: The Sex Scandal Scandal

manyak

thanks, pinoychan /n/

Our correspondent in the Senate reports that actress Katrina Halili went there today, and was welcomed by a raging horde of reporters, photojournalists and camera men.

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Sen. Revilla wants Dr. Kho’s license over sex video

Sen. Ramon Revilla, Jr. just tore sex-scandal celebrity Dr. Hayden Kho a new asshole in a privilege speech, and wants the Professional Regulations Commission (PRC) to revoke his license for being a pervert.

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Why stop at just the license?

He said that Kho’s use of a hidden camera, and his positioning Katrina Halili so that she’s in full view of the camera, and then leaking the video means that Kho is a douche bag.

That he could sing “Careless Whisper” while cheating on Dr. Vicky Belo on the more G-rated video that has made the rounds of the Internet is proof enough. But this new video showing actual sex shows that Hayden is not the right kind of doctor. At all.

According to Revilla,

“If you ask me, wala itong tao na ito sa tamang pag-iisip, and according to the Medical Act, this doctor can also be punished for insanity. Buwang itong doktor na ito.”

Also, FIRST POST!

Once more, with feelings

From the Department of Stale News and Current Affairs, it seems another senator has taken up the mantle to protect the dignity of fellow Filipinos and the motherland. Whether or not we want him to.

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PacMom in the Morning

Indolent reader Atty.Victor P. says that the country is in dire straits indeed if media can devote a segment on the morning news to PacMom Dionisia Pacquiao’s love life. And he may be right.

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True, the world of entertainment news is pretty much about making much ado about things like sexy dancing and the Gutierrez family, so we shouldn’t really expect much.

But how slow a news day is it when you can actually feature PacMom’s alleged romance with a dance instructor for an entire chikaminute?

Surely there are other more important issues out there?

Like this guy.

Like this guy.

On proper decorum when getting a tattoo

eee13At some point, you will have to admit that getting a tatoo hurts. You might grit your teeth or scream, and that’s fine.

One of the bad ass things about tattoos is that you have to suffer to get them, so, when you’re on that chair, it’s your time to shine.

At no point, however, are you allowed to make a face that makes you look like you a. are in labor or b. getting head.

Protip: If the pain ever gets that bad, you either got an overly ambitious design, or are not made to take that much pain. Either way, Bukowski, maybe you shouldn’t have tried at all.

Baguio: serious business

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Baguio City has declared low-brow comedian Candy Pangilinan persona non grata in the City of Pines, and rightfully so.

Apparently, she opened her act in SM Baguio with this line, guaranteed to set back highlander-lowlander relations by at least 50 years: “akala nyo Igorot ako, hindi ako Igorot, tao po ako! (You thought I was an Igorot! I’m not an Igorot, I’m a person!”)

oh, no, you didn't...

oh, no, you didn't...

Not quite sure the crowd got the joke, she said it again, earning her a smack down from the Baguio city council. Which, really, was her getting off pretty easy considering how bad ass Igorots are. These people had the balls to go up against Lam-ang, the Ilokano Wolverine, once upon a time.

"the best there is at what I do, apo."

"the best there is at what I do, apo."

She apologized soon after, saying that she “did not mean to hurt anyone, especially the Igorots from whom I know our roots come from.” Patently untrue, she will soon also be banned from anthropology departments everywhere.