Hey, guys! We’ve fixed the commenting system. It was working too well and therefore was not working at all. Things are fine now, though. The weather is great, too.
She would know
A self-proclaimed Iron Lady from Congress has been taking potshots at the Aquino administration lately, pouncing  on pretty much any issue she can.
When a mayor from Mindanao complained earlier this year about inadequate calamity assistance in his flooded city, Iron Lady was there to hector him on. Not on the ground, where it would have counted, but from the un-flooded hall of Congress where she works.
She has also locked horns with a Malacanang appointee for being arrogant despite just being an appointed official. It was a blow for the common man, who elects his Congressional representatives, and for the elite families who field random relatives for the common man to elect. It was also a blow to the concept of public service but whatever, it made the evening news.
And earlier today, she was crowing about the resignation of Customs chief Angelito Alvarez. She said a breakdown in leadership at the Bureau of Customs has led to rampant smuggling. And that is probably true. For example, smuggled plywood has reportedly been costing the Philippine wood industry millions a month. Clearly, it is time for a new day at the Bureau of Customs, where smugglers will be caught and prosecuted, and nobody will profit from misdeclared goods.
There is no word, though, whether the sun of that new day will shine on shiploads of logs that her family brings in from Papua New Guinea. We’re not saying that the logs are smuggled, but…
I'm not saying that either. Sheeeit.
Indolent Internet Weekly Digest 7
Every weekend*, Indolent Indio tries to come out with a short and hastily-done roundup of things we’ve found on the Internet (pinoy chapter, of course.) Quality, quantity, content, and success may vary.
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We have been delving into the wasteland that is Tumblr and have found two sites relevant to our interests:
Drunken Dispatches is a tumblog for Filipino tipplers. It does not update as often as it should, but seeing as we are people who live in a glass house, we shall let that pass.
Missed Connections Manila reads like the sort of graffiti conversations you always hoped to see in your college restroom. It’s about could-have-beens and could-still-bes. It’s very romantic, really. Romantic and sad, which is pretty much what this whole romance thing is about anyway.
A Manila Bulletin column saying Filipino is not the “language of the learned” earns Atenean James Soriano a place on the pantheon of sad Internet celebrities alongside Cat Killer Joseph Carlo Candare and Christopher Lao. Â Project Kino says “ang problema sa column mo tsong, elitista ang perspektibo.” Which, as an Atenean, Mr. Soriano cannot really help.
Mistervader, who went to the Ateneo, had this to say: “name-dropping Fr. Bulatao just because he can just feels like such a predictable thing a typical pretentious artsy-fartsy Arrnean would do.”
The “Alabang Boys” were acquitted. Some of them anyway.
With Rey Marfil effectively de-fanged as a blind-item columnist by joining the Aquino government, here comes a new challenger: Remate’s Crispin Rizal. Mr.(or Ms.) Rizal has caused quite a stir at some government offices, and in various news beats. Nobody knows who he (or she) really is, but some friendships are being tested. With reporters being accused of, and having to deny, being Crispin Rizal.
A sample:
Sino itong mambabatas sa Mataas na Kapulungan ng Kongreso na madalas pagtaguan at ayaw kausapin ng kanyang staff kapag mainit ang ulo.
Ang dahilan ng staff, pag-mainit ang ulo ng senador ay nagmumura at naninigaw pa ito kaya mas makabubuti pa umano na huwag na silang magpakita rito.
Pero kapag media ang kaharap, kuntodo ang ngiti nito na halos abot hanggang tenga.**
If only one stream of Filipino literature will survive the global monoculture, let it be the political blind item.
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*This is a lie.
**As a pointless spit in the eye of Mr. Soriano (and as a sop to our laziness) we will not translate Filipino content on this post.
Tree falls on driver, everybody hears it
This has indeed been annus mirabilis, a year of wonders.
A sitting senator resigns over allegations of poll fraud, the University of the Philippines wins two basketball games, the President meets with a rebel leader, and the country might actually get back at the Arroyos for playing us for fools for nine years.
And wonders have not been confined to the capital, either. Strange things have been happening in the provinces as well, reminiscent of mythical times (or the 1990s).
In Camarines Norte, a baby was born with Mermaid Syndrome, a rare condition where a baby’s legs are fused together; this makes it look like the baby has a tail and no legs.
“Naniniwala si Jane na may kinalaman sa naging itsura ng kanyang baby ang madalas na pamamasyal sa tabing-dagat at panonood ng fantaseryeng Mutya na tungkol sa batang sirena.
‘Nanonood ako ng Mutya hindi ko alam na buntis na pala ako,’ sabi ni Jane Sariba, ina ng sanggol.
(Jane believes her child’s appearance has something to do with her frequent trips to the beach and watching Mutya, a TV show about a mermaid child.
‘I used to watch Mutya, I didn’t know I was pregnant yet,’ Jane Sariba, the child’s mother said.)“
The child, named Mutya after the TV show, died soon after being born and did not get to see her mother embarrass herself on national TV.
In Cebu, a tree falls on a jeepney, killing the driver and making the front page of one news website for some reason. To be fair, it was an exciting day for the province of Cebu, where a concrete post fell on a taxi, killing no one and making it to the front page for some reason.
Also, something about a congressman accused of tax evasion.
Indolent Internet Weekly Digest 6
Every weekend, Indolent Indio tries to come out with a short and hastily-done roundup of things we’ve found on the Internet (pinoy chapter, of course.) Quality, quantity, content, and success may vary.
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The Philippine military is considering a Cold War-era ship-lease scheme with the United States to help contain Red China!
An LGBT group believes there have been 28 deaths this year from hate crimes against lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgendered Filipinos. Of 103 death since 1996, 42 have been in Metro Manila. Meanwhile, UP Diliman’s Oblation (it’s just a model) dressed in drag for a Pride march this week, but was still quite naked, really.
Journalist and blogger Raissa Robles on Mayor Sara Duterte, who punched a court sheriff in the face Friday: “She was on the wrong side of the law but on the right side of right. ” Manila City Mayor Alfredo Lim (Motto: “The Law Applies To All Or Else None [Sic] At All”) says he would have done the same thing.
Meanwhile, BusinessWorld columnist Luis Teodoro writes about someone else who broke the law and who thought he was on the right side of right.
Meanwhile, PH Azkals play a home game against the Sri Lankan Other Dudes.
Story on actress Maricel Soriano’s maid on GMA News Online: ‘Dinirty finger niya po kami’
Also, she apparently beat her up.
And here is activist band Talahib singing “Bumangon ka, Igorotan” for the Igorots, who, as comedian Candy Pangilinan knows, are our common ancestors.
Anti-Social Media: Fact-check Fail
Here is something that we found on Facebook that shows national hero Dr. Jose Rizal is going the way of Ernesto “Che” Guevara. Â In a few years, Rizal will be a cultural icon whom people will confuse with the lead singer of Queen.
"Adios, patria adorada...they call me Mr. Fahrenheit."
This article, published on Dr. Rizal’s birthday and to plug design house Team Manila, is either a case of lazy editing, or of time travel. You decide.
This article was written at 88 miles per hour
For those in the audience who need glasses, or do not click on the picture, the copy reads thus:
One hundred fifty years ago, he was shot to death. Today, he lives–on t-shirts, mugs, notebooks, posters, postcards, and various accessories.
Which, as you know, is wrong because Rizal was shot 115 years ago at the age of 35. And not, as this article from a national broadsheet’s Sunday magazine implies, at the moment of his birth, by a crack team of Imperial Spanish terminator robots.
But maybe there’s some secret backstory here. Some unconfirmed report from anonymous sources that says Dr.Rizal was in fact killed by time travelling Castillians and was replaced with some less-awesome (but already pretty awesome) version who advocated education and not armed struggle. Is it true? Inquiring minds want to know.
Thanks, Facbook account of Vic Torres!
Anti-Social Media: Tiger Blood
"Just the facts, ma'am"
Just so you know, fellow indolent indios, Pampanga Representative Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s first press conference since moving from the House on the River to the House of Representatives was not held just so she could lambaste the Aquino administration for its lack of leadership.
She did not, for example, call her son’s lackey at the House press corps, and say, “Hey, Mr.Sheen*, Â the flood situation in Cotabato has caused me much concern and we need to hold a press conference in Lubao to talk about it.”
The press conference was actually planned weeks in advance but had to be rescheduled because a.)Â Rep. Macapagal-Arroyo had to be rushed to the hospital for a pinched nerve and b.) Mr. Sheen just plain fucked up.
You see, bickering on the beat had gotten so bad that when Mr. Sheen’s principal, another congressman from Pampanga but not necessarily representing Pampanga, tapped him to get the media to attend Mrs. Arroyo’s press conference, he excluded members of the media that his clique was not cool with.
Which, as a dude, is sort of cool, but as an operator, not so much. After all, if you’re going to ask for a Ford Explorer in exchange for selling out your journalistic ethics, you’re expected to deliver as much media mileage as possible. By excluding people you’re not on good terms with, but who are still members of the media, you’re pretty much shooting yourself in the foot.
Given that among those members of the media that Mr. Sheen excluded was a reporter for a conservative national daily with a circulation of thousands, Mrs. Arroyo’s official spokesperson (i.e. not an operator with a press pass) had to step in and invite everybody.
And so, we get what we had last week, which was Mrs. Arroyo slagging her former Economics student for not being a good President. Which she might not actually be wrong about. But the point is, it was planned weeks in advance.
As for Mr. Sheen, we can just call him that because despite all evidence, he still thinks that he is, as his Hollywood counterpart does, that he is winning. When, as an operator, he almost failed.
*Not his real name, obviously.
Indolent Internet Weekly Digest 5
Every weekend, Indolent Indio tries to come out with a short and hastily-done roundup of things we’ve found on the Internet (pinoy chapter, of course.)
Quality, quantity, content, and success may vary.
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Boracay island is aghast over the President referring to their island as “Bora” just like everyone else has in the past 10 years.
A Filipina in Hong Kong throws herself in front of a bus to save her young ward, thus redeeming us for that other incident involving Hong Kong people and a bus.
A Christian church marries eight gay couples in Baguio City.
When you are in a rap battle and you try to follow up calling your opponent a bitch by calling him the “bitchest,” consider admitting defeat:
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Pampanga Representative Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, former President,  holds a press conference to score the Aquino administration and its lack of leadership. As this happens, her hometown and congressional district  gets flooded because of heavy rains.
Lawyer H. Harry Roque, crusader for justice and publicity hound, wants the Supreme Court to scrap a guideline on live coverage of the Maguindanao massacre trial that bars networks from cutting to commercials. He said the rule infringes on editorial freedom and on the media’s right to make money. [Note: allowing live coverage was already a concession.]
Pinoy Gonzo talks about the anguish of writing: “Ilang nobela ko na ba at short stories ang parang mga programa ng gobyerno — puro simula lang — dahil sa sobrang gipit ko sa oras ay nawalan ako ng gana sa kanila?”
Santo Tomas trumps State U
The University of the Philippines and the University of Santo Tomas have had a friendly sort of rivalry that dates back to before #schoolwars was something that might trend on Twitter.
The two schools, perhaps envious of the Ateneo-De La Salle rivalry, have been competing against each other in everything from cheerleading competitions to pretty much every licensure exam in the country.
So, when UP commemorated its centennial anniversary with a special edition 100-peso bill:
Actual monetary value is still P100
It was inevitable that UST, which marks its 400th anniversary this year, would try to one-up UP with this:
The bill nobody wants in their wallet.
Well played, Thomasians. Well played.
Anti-Social Media: Plagiarism victim Rey Joble quits
This just in: Rey Joble, whose article on GMA News Online was plagiarized by author Krip Yuson for a magazine article, has left the company.
Joble said goodbye on his Facebook account today:
After more than a year of writing/editing stories for the sports section of GMA News, the author is bidding goodbye to his readers/followers. Thanks so much for making me and the sports section of GMA News a part of your reading interest. Thanks so much as well to GMA News for the opportunity.
Yuson was let go soon after the plagiarism issue spread on social networking sites.