Pasaway: Drug Cop’s Daughter Totally Lying About Being Kidnapped and Raped

News of the abduction and rape of the daughter of an anti-drug agent rocked the country yesterday with some quarters calling for a lynching, and with both the President and the Speaker of the House calling for a revival of the death penalty. Staunch defender of women and morality Sen. Ramon Revilla, Jr., for his part, said nothing.

The Philippine National Police went the extra mile, however, and trumped the entire government by solving the case within hours of the story getting out.

They say that there was no abduction, no drugging and no rape. It was a drinking spree gone wrong is what it was. What happened was that the girl skipped school, got drunk and was brought home past curfew. The whole “I got abducted and raped by drug lords” story was just an alibi.
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Baron Geisler Is An Instant Classic

PEP‘s coverage of the continuing adventures of Baron Geisler is full of both WIN and FAIL at the same time:

May kuwento pa na ipinaihaw pa raw ni Baron ang isang parrot at ginawang pulutan.

Pero napag-alaman later on na ang sinasabing “parrot” ay parrotfish, isang klase ng isda na kinakain daw talaga.

(It was reported that Baron even had a parrot barbecued to go with his beer.

But it was later learned that that the ‘parrot’ was actually a parrot fish.)

Baron Geisler would totally eat a parrot

Baron Geisler would totally eat a parrot

That is all.

(Thanks for the link, Juancho Bombero!)

Go Philippines!: RP Team has Swine Flu

soccerA member of the Philippine Football Team has tested positive for the dreaded (and slightly deadly) Influenza A (H1N1) in Singapore, sending the team’s Singaporean liaison and anyone who has come into close contact with the team into quarantine.

Accordingly, the game that they were scheduled to play has been cancelled.

Cancelled!

Cancelled!

A hero’s welcome has been prepared for them by Environment and Natural Resources secretary Jose “Lito” Atienza, Jr. to honor “their spirit of true sportsmanship, their being the true epitome of team work, and for bringing honor and glory to the Philippines.”

A motorcade will bring them from the Ninoy Aquino International Airport through the streets of Manila and to Malacanang for a grand reception that will be hosted by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Face masks and squeeze-bottles of hand sanitizer will be distributed at the event.

How Much Is That Indio In The Window?

For Independence Day ’09, The Indolent Indio is publishing a series of posts that touch on nationalism, freedom, and crass comedy.

This is the first post in the series

Ninoy Assassination - PWNED

CSI: You're doing it wrong.

A recent study has shown that the value of the average Filipino has plummeted steadily over the years.

Whereas 20 years ago the Filipino was worth dying for, today, they are valued to be just worth getting crippled for. In some markets, the price is pegged much lower, with the average Filipino merely worth enduring a bout of minor migraines for.
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AKO MISMO: A Conspiracy Theory

You Are Entering A Tin Foil Hat Zone

You Are Entering A Tin Foil Hat Zone

Is the Ako Mismo! campaign a proxy for Sen. Richard Gordon’s Bagumbayan-Volunteers for a New Philippines?

Probably not. And there is no real reason to think that it is. Unless you don’t consider that it probably totally is.

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Old-school politicians crash new left-wing party

iron

Left-wing party list groups launched the Makabayang Koalisyon ng Mamamayan (Makabayan) yesterday, a party for “the politics of genuine change…politikang mula sa masa [politics of the masses.]”

The event was marked by the attendance of such non-traditional politicians as Senators Manuel Roxas, Maria Ana Madrigal (the senator formerly known as Jamby) and Francis Pangilinan, as well as Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia, Jr.

Also in attendance was Gina De Venecia, who, while not a politician per se, is married to one, and is planning to run for office in 2010.

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Sen. Ramon Revilla, Jr. only wants to protect journalists

If you aren’t aware of the ongoing debate on the Right of Reply Bill, this will probably mean nothing to you.

On the other hand, every opportunity that our politicians take to embarrass themselves is of interest to all freedom-loving Filipinos, so you might as well read on.
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Logic, the government and you, Part One

An Inquiry Into Values

Despite numerous scandals our Fearless Leader (fearless of God, anyway,) the Arroyo administration (and sundry family members, which is sort of the same thing) has survived scandal after scandal.

The recent impeachment complaint was not the first time that charges of corruption and general assholery have been thrown at the president, and she has survived each one virtually unscathed because she has mastered the tactics of rhetoric and reprisal. (Also, possibly, a Mephistophelian deal of some sort.)

Here are some defenses that she and her lackeys have used so the next time that the government basically tells us to go fuck ourselves, we’ll at least be aware of it. Remember, knowing is half the battle. The other half mostly involves violence and pointy objects.

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Monico Puentevella’s Shining Moment

The day the impeachment complaint filed by Joey De Venecia was killed

on the House floor, Rep. Monico Puentevella called a press conference to

expose the truth behind anomalous China deals included in the complaint.

Monico Puentevella

Monico Puentevella

He then produced documents to prove that the China deals were hatched in De Venecia’s own house and that the former House Speaker had lobbied for his son, Joey’s, company to get the contract for the National Broadband Network. Puentevella said that the entire impeachment  complaint was based on De Venecia sourgraping and wanting political payback.

That ousted house speaker (and Star Wars mainstay) Rep. Jose De Venecia, Jr. was in on the deal, and that he had tried to wrangle the NBN contract for his son is no surprise. In the Shakespearean tragedy that is Philippine politics, De Venecia is Hamlet’s mom: dirty, bloody, protests too much, and, ultimately, is someone’s bitch.

What was shocking was how Puentevella handled what he saw as his “shining moment.”  In a classic example of Philippine politicking, Puentevella showed that he was not exposing De Venecia because the guy was corrupt and, as he said, “should be charged with violations of the Ant-Graft and Corrupt Practices Act,” but because he had dared attack the president.

Asked why only came out with his revelation the day of plenary voting on the impeachment complaint, he replied that he had had to attend some thing or other with the Philippine Sports Commission and wasn’t able to attend the committee hearings on the impeachment.

Which is fine, I guess, if, for some reason goddamned sports is somehow more important than the accountability of the president. Which is, again, fine if the anomalous ZTE-NBN deal hadn’t been exposed years ago with public debates and Senate hearings focused on getting to the bottom of the deal.

But Puentevella only came out then because “he had had enough” of De Venecia blaming the bad deals that he had negotiated on the president, and not because it’s illegal. Which, really, in no uncertain terms, is fucked up by all standards of decency, integrity and justice.

When asked whether his expose of De Venecia’s influence-peddling and general holier-than-thou attitude would lead to an investigation by the House ethics committee, Puentevella said that he would still have to consult with members of his party because he was, as he said, “a team player.” He told teporters that he “want to judge anyone because I don’t want to be judged,” prompting at least two simultaneous and totally spontaneous snorts of derision in the press conference room of the House.

He added that he did not come out with his revelation immediately because he wanted to wait for De Venecia to make a move against the president. Perhaps Puentevella has some sort of selective clairvoyance, being able to foresee De Venecia’s betrayal of the president, but not the trouncing that our Olympic team received in Beijing this year.

More probably, however, Puentevella is representative of the kind of politics and sense of civic duty that our politicians have been exercising since we became a nation.

In perhaps the most painful to watch, and the hammiest performance by a sitting member of Philippine Congress, Puentevella repeated  the whole charade on the House floor, hysterically shouting “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” while waving his documents in the air.

Conveniently, or aptly, forgetting, Jack Nicholson’s overly-quoted character in that movie was the bad guy.

Not Monico Puentevella

Not Monico Puentevella