Daniel Smith’s acquittal: a step forward for female immigrants

and justice for all

and justice for all

Convicted rapist Daniel Smith’s acquittal by the Court of Appeals may be a bitter pill for rape victims and feminists to swallow, but it is a windfall for all women who want green cards and eventual citizenship papers.

This is an entirely new avenue for those frustrated with those snooty people at the US Embassy who look down on potential immigrants with disdain and a quite literal fuck you to stringent US immigration laws.

With the Balikatan military exercises pretty much as regular as Christmas, the Filipino dream of becoming an American is now within reach of a shitload of cocktails and an actual cock.

Dick Gordon: The Medium Is The Message

redcross

We cannot deny that Sen. Richard Gordon has done monumental things in developing Philippine tourism. His “Wow,Philippines!” and the miracle that is the Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority will forever be his legacy.

Extending the “Wow!” campaign for cheap mileage by subtly putting it on Red Cross vehicles, though, makes Gordon just about as petty as your basic Barangay Captain who puts his name on Barangay patrol multi-cabs and tricycles that don’t belong to him.

With this  (probably) unintended consequence: because the Red Cross is usually dispatched to calamity areas and war zones, the general message seems to be “Wow! A disaster involving horrible loss of life!”

It isn’t so much that the Red Cross cares, the hidden political ad suggests, but because calamities are incredibly exciting.

WTF, dude?

catkiller1

[UPDATE: Cat-killer Candare has been found guilty of cruelty to animals. He has to pay a 2,000-peso fine and do community service.]

Humor aside, what kind of sick fuck kills cats for fun, and then, because people got pissed off about it, says they wouldn’t do it again “for at least a month”?

Why, Joseph Carlo Candare, apparently.

I mean, come on, we’re hardly the first people to hug trees and participate in Earth Hour, but, come on. Dude didn’t even do it with a gun or whatever, he just threw it in the air and stomped on it.

Unluckily for you, Joseph Carlo–or John Conrad, as you sometimes style yourself– Candare, someone saw you and your blog post about it, and goddamn, the Internet doesn’t forget. I’m still living down a sad fan page I made on geocities in 1997, and rest assured, this is going on your permanent record, Joseph Carlo Candare of the University of the Philippines.

Nobody, not even your two boyfriends can stop the shit storm you’ve called down on yourself.

Not even them.

Not even them.

CSI: Manila

While at university, and at the peak of the popularity of CSI:[insert hip city,] we wrote a script for a CSI: Manila that went roughly:

INT: CRIME SCENE

A VICTIM HAS BEEN EVISCERATED OR OTHERWISE KILLED IN SOME HORRIBLE FASHION

PNP SCENE OF CRIME OPERATIVE: (LONG, PREGNANT PAUSE) MURDER.

CUE MUSIC

read more »

Old-school politicians crash new left-wing party

iron

Left-wing party list groups launched the Makabayang Koalisyon ng Mamamayan (Makabayan) yesterday, a party for “the politics of genuine change…politikang mula sa masa [politics of the masses.]”

The event was marked by the attendance of such non-traditional politicians as Senators Manuel Roxas, Maria Ana Madrigal (the senator formerly known as Jamby) and Francis Pangilinan, as well as Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia, Jr.

Also in attendance was Gina De Venecia, who, while not a politician per se, is married to one, and is planning to run for office in 2010.

read more »

Richard Gutierrez, a bit of a douche

Richard Gutierrez, in a dick move, recently filed a P25-million libel case against showbiz blog Philippine Entertainment Portal for some bit of gossip about an alleged confrontation between him and Michael Flores (who is probably also famous) where he supposedly pulled out a gun.

Which is fine. The law, in all its majesty, allows the richest of us to seek redress from those who have injured us.

It does not, however, allow us to use the court system as some sort of avenue for an inquisition (not expressly, anyway.) Which is what this seems to be, considering what he had to say about it:

“We just want to get to the bottom of this and we want to find out the truth kung sino’ng tao ang nasa likod nito [who were the people behind this]”

read more »

An Open Letter From The Pope

To my Philippine flock,

It is with great alarm that I write you today, on the occasion of the Church’s resumption of services, to order that an Inquisition (Spanish, or local, if costs are prohibitive) be launched in the Philippines.

read more »

Dick Gordon, you are not Batman

Anyone who has spent any amount of time around Senator Richard Gordon knows four basic facts about him:

1. That he was the youngest delegate to the 1971 Constitutional Convention.

2. That his father was assassinated, and that he eventually nailed the guy who did it.

3. That he is an Upsilonian, (just like his fraternity brothers Senators Joker Arroyo and Francis Pangilinan, who have the parliamentary courtesy not to acknowledge the blatant name-dropping in mentioning it in speeches everyday.)

4. He turned Subic into the economic powerhouse that it is today.

Never in his rambling privilege speeches has he ever mentioned that he served in the military, or has ever been in the line of fire, except, I guess, politically.

Which does not stop him from from single-handedly rescuing Red Cross volunteer Mary Jean Lacaba, or acting like some debonair billionaire vigilante (at least, on the phone.)

read more »

More like Armed Pansies of Pansyland, amirite?

We are a warrior culture, prayer warriors, at any rate, judging  from our Hail Mary play to save the three International Committee of the Red Cross volunteers kidnapped by the Abu Sayyaf: a call for prayers, and an appeal from the Pope.

And, really, there’s nothing wrong with that. God-fearing as we are, we will turn to God when all else fails. But what the real issue here is this: Why did all else fail?

read more »

Filipinos: Just as racist as the next guy

If we’ve learned anything from this whole Chip Tsao incident, it’s that we Filipinos are quick to anger when the dignity of our nation is slighted. We have very thin skins when it comes to jokes at our expense, and we will not hesitate to meet racial slur with racial slur.

And that’s understandable, since racism, the rest of the world pretty much agrees, is wrong. Knowing that,  however, does not stop us from insulting other nationalities, even when we’re not on the defensive.

read more »