Indio Internet Weekly Digest 2

Every weekend, Indolent Indio comes out with a short and hastily-done roundup of things we’ve found on the Internet (pinoy chapter, of course.)

Quality, quantity and content may vary.

"Meh Ganon?"

"Meh Ganon?"

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Prof. Luis Teodoro says the Internet has allowed a class of “Epsilon semi-morons to throw at the world at large anything that comes into their so-called minds — bad grammar, worse logic, total ignorance and all.” Well, this is a brave new world, indeed.

<s>ettle natin ito: Sandwich vocalist Raimund Marasigan allegedly mauled some dude at an FHM party. Get into the action before it turns into a typical PEP thread of Kapuso vs. Kapamilya.

Ateneo Fashion Watch, an Ateneo fashion blog is born, pushing the Philippines ever closer to an all-out class war.

(UPDATE: The Siege Malvar calls our Ateneo Fashion Watch, and raises with Green Olympus, a tumblog of “gods and goddesses” from De La Salle University. Well played, Mr. The Siege.)

BetterPhilippines (if that’s even his real name) is peeved at politicians (or their paid hacks) following him on twitter.

Humanap ka ng pundit: Filipino Voices tackles bottled water, and how it’s a scam (long debate on why it’s a scam in the comments.)

tl;dr= bottled water is a scam.

Indolent reader Filo sends this video of Capt. Barbell flying backwards.

Also, Facebook: The Movie? I hope it’s an action flick based on Mafia Wars.

Blogger Brian Gorrell is taking a break from blogging due to health issues in case you were wondering whatever happened to him.

Douche bag Richard Gutierrez gets his libel case against PEP thrown out by the court. (As always, the comments section is the best social barometer.)

Political Ad

quezon-colgate

Sadly, this is no more absurd than the thinly-veiled “advocacy ads” that our presumptive presidential candidates have been spending millions on months before the official campaign period.

Pres. Quezon actually did endorse Ang Tibay shoes, if memory serves. But, you know, those were shoes, not abstracts like hard work and perseverance.

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Enraged by early campaigning and/or our mediocre Photoshop skills? Feel free to make your own political ads and post them below. Or not. It’s up to you, really.

Chiz Escudero: A Listener’s Guide

chiz

“Say Chiz” was the corny  slogan used by Sen. Francis Escudero in his successful 2007 senatorial campaign.

He has since been climbing to the top of popularity surveys and could very well be the next president of the Philippines, partly because he gives good sound bites.

If you think about it, though, “Say Chiz” might be more aptly replaced with “say what?,” which is the thinking person’s reaction to hearing him on the news.

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Lozada Is Still In Danger

Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile has threatened to pull ZTE-NBN whistle blower Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada,Jr.’s Senate security detail for bringing them along on his golf games.

Supposedly, Lozada even has them caddy his games when he’s not hiding at La Salle Greenhills because of threats to his life.

He said that if Lozada can go out and play golf, then that might mean that his life is no longer in danger. And that is where Enrile–sharp legal mind that he is–is wrong.

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Go Philippines!: RP Team has Swine Flu

soccerA member of the Philippine Football Team has tested positive for the dreaded (and slightly deadly) Influenza A (H1N1) in Singapore, sending the team’s Singaporean liaison and anyone who has come into close contact with the team into quarantine.

Accordingly, the game that they were scheduled to play has been cancelled.

Cancelled!

Cancelled!

A hero’s welcome has been prepared for them by Environment and Natural Resources secretary Jose “Lito” Atienza, Jr. to honor “their spirit of true sportsmanship, their being the true epitome of team work, and for bringing honor and glory to the Philippines.”

A motorcade will bring them from the Ninoy Aquino International Airport through the streets of Manila and to Malacanang for a grand reception that will be hosted by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Face masks and squeeze-bottles of hand sanitizer will be distributed at the event.

Bayani Fernando, Manila’s Little Prince

parlinglot

The Best Street Ever was turned into the Best Motorcade Ever this week after the Metro Manila Development Authority decided to move their U-Turn slots without warning again.

To address the complaints of confused and irate motorists, the MMDA deployed dozens of traffic officers to stand around and wave their hands ineffectively to send the message of “fuck you, motorists.”

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Manny Villar Has No Balls

Sen. Manuel Villar, Jr. has been selling the public his formula for success over the past few months. He says that the future of the nation is hinged on “two things: hardwork and perseverance.”

MvillarTatler

And he does have these two things indeed, judging from the billion-peso empire he’s created in real estate.

That being said, Villar lacks two other things that might come in handy when you’re a president: big brass balls.

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Holy Shit, You Guys!

FANTASYLAND!

FANTASYLAND!

In Zamboanga Del Norte, there is an actual amusement park called Gloria’s Fantasyland. Named for Pres. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo,one must suppose, since she’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me.

It’s pretty cheesy to name an amusement park after the President, but it’s a small price to pay to give kids in Mindanao a chance to forget that they live on a resource-rich island that the government has neglected for decades.

If I were a kid in Mindanao, I’d call it the Ferdinand Marcos-Erap Estrada Demo-Crazy World Of Fun if it meant getting a chance to visit what is supposedly the “biggest theme park outside of Metro Manila.”

Metro Manila Is A Theme Park

Metro Manila Is A Theme Park

There is one small hitch as Manuel Buencamino points out:

Gloria’s Fantasyland is owned by Romeo Jalosjos, a former congressman convicted of two counts of statutory rape and six counts of acts of lasciviousness against an 11-year-old girl.

joeyd

Otherwise, it’s pretty cool.

Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, 2nd Dist. Pampanga

Agrarian Reform Secretary and King of Valley Golf Nasser Pangandaman just confirmed that President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo will be seeking a seat on the House of Representatives in 2010.

With the entire machinery of Lakas-Kampi CMD backing her and, you know, being the fucking president of the country, you won’t need computerized elections to tell you who’ll be representing the 2nd District of Pampanga in the 15th Congress.

It's-a-me, Gloria!

It's-a-me, Gloria!

46% of the country thinks she’s a liar and a cheat, but she’ll win by a landslide in Pampanga anyway and bury her opponents, if anyone else even bothers to file for candidacy at all.

The No Elections conspiracy theorists were right after all, there won’t be any elections, not in the 2nd District of Pampanga, anyway.

Mosquito Fleet Manifesto

For Independence Day ‘09, The Indolent Indio is publishing a series of posts that touch on nationalism, freedom, and crass comedy.

This is the second  post in the series.

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Serious Cat Seal Of Seriousness

I are serious cat. This is serious post.

A spectre is haunting the Philippines–the spectre of low to middle-class bikers on small-displacement motorcycles racing along city streets in defiance of How Things Are Done.

When unit prices of motorcycles went down because of cheap Chinese imports (with incredibly shoddy build quality,) every Juan now had the option of personal mobility, and really, that’s what freedom is all about.

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