For fuck’s sake, guys. It was a UAAP championship game, not the goddamned Kennedy assassination.
Elections ’08
Neither Of Us Cares What You Think
If you are Filipino, this is how much America cares whether you are for Obama or McCain:
0%
Toyota Fortuner: The SUV for Assholes
It’s an unsubstantiated fact that 80% of Toyota Fortuner drivers are assholes.
Excerpts From The Reproductive Health Bill Debates
The proposed Reproductive Health Bill has been the subject of heated debates in the houses of Congress, in churches and on the street.
House Speaker Prospero C. Nograles, to avoid a divided house, enjoined both sides of the issue to tackle the RH Bill through parliamentary debate.
The Indolent Indio’s correspondent in Congress gives us the salient points raised by either side at the House debates last week.
For the Reproductive Health Bill,
Rep. Edcel Lagman
(1st District, Albay, Lakas-CMD)
“The use of contraceptives for family planning does not make acceptors bad Catholics. But having more children whom parents can ill-afford to feed, educate, medicate, guide and love makes them irresponsible regardless of their religion.”
“We must appreciate free choice because freedom is the bedrock of republicanism and democracy.”
“There can be no inequity worse than maternal death because the miracle of life must not lead to the death of so many mothers particularly since pregnancy is not a disease.”
“The WHO has estimated that about 1 million infant deaths worldwide could be prevented with reliable family planning information and access to reproductive health services.”
Against the Reproductive Health Bill
Running for Mayor of Quezon City
Rep. Anna Rosa Susano
(2nd District, Quezon City, Lakas-CMD)
“THERE IS NO QUORUM!”
“This is about the budget! Mga magnanakaw kayo! (You are thieves)”
“You forged the signatures on your bill!”
Marcos Cronies (Who Got Away With It)
Martial Law was declared 36 years ago to much pomp, circumstance and whereas-ing of things.
It took many deaths and fourteen years before the administration that brought us Martial Law was finally run out of the country. And we learned our lesson in those long, dark Marcos years. So much so that with our never-agains and our Ninoy shirts, any and all attempts to introduce discipline on Philippine society is immediately killed at the mere comparison to Martial Law. A proposed dress code triggered an uprising at the Ateneo de Manila University, for example. A No-ID,No-Entry policy at the University of the Philippines was likened to hamletting in the provinces, etcetera.)
Filipinos took the lessons of the Marcos years and focused on protecting their rights to free speech, free thought, and to do whatever the fuck they want because they have rights. Their right to a just and equitable society under a just and equitable government, however, was just too complex to turn into a slogan and fight for.
For their complicity in a corrupt and despotic regime, any other country would have tarred and feathered these politicians. But the Philippines is a lot like Soviet Russia in the sense that in the Philippines, justice has you. Also, the Philippines is poor.
Four Places That Are A Blight On Manila
“Manila, Manila/ I keep coming back to Manila” so goes the classic Hotdog song. The ’70s pop group didn’t bother specifying which parts of Manila they kept coming back to, but we are sure that they were probably thinking of the swanky parts of Escolta and Cubao, or perhaps of an idealized, romantic abstract idea of a Manila that never was. One thing is for sure, though, they didn’t mean these parts of Manila.
Five Monsters From Shake, Rattle & Roll (That Were Just Retarded)
Since 1984, the movie franchise Shake, Rattle & Roll has tried to scare us out of our wits. Or, at least do something to get us out of our wits enough to be scared, I guess. Or, failing that, try to make us feel good for going to the movie theater to watch them. And you know what? They failed at all of those.
With the latest iteration out in 2007, Shake, Rattle & Roll has consistently failed to come up with anything scarier than the prospect of being groped in the dark by that mustachioed man beside you.
Phrases That Have Been Used Too Often
Team [Noun]
As in: Team USA, Team Philippines, Team Bryan, Team PNP, Team Army, Team [Random Branch of Service]. Words and slogans tend to jump the shark when the government starts using them.
“no less than [optional adjective] [noun]”
As in: “Reported by no less than the Commission on Human Rights…”
In Fairview
As in: “In Fairview, ha, he’s very good,” but not as a response to being asked where one lives if one actually does lives there. Slightly more irritating than saying “in fairness” because you’re trying to be clever.
Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain
As in: Well, as in Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain.
Pa-cheeseburger ka naman
As in: “Wow, a promotion! Pa-cheeseburger ka naman.”
It works just as well as pa-beer ka naman, which, often, is not at all.
–OneTamad
Did I miss any? Feel free to add to the list by posting a comment.
Excerpt From An E-mail From Raymund Marasigan (which we copy-pasted)
“yes i visited ely in the hospital yesterday. i hope he recovers soon. we have a show to finish.”